Autumn is my number two favorite season. Number one is Winter, but we'll talk about that another time. Autumn is THE season of change. Almost everything around us changes (well, depending upon where you live). I'm a New Englander, so here, the climate changes. We go from humid, balmy, hot temperatures to cool, chilly, clear temperatures, where everyday becomes a good hair day. The sky seems to be a brighter, deeper blue. The breezes kick up to help all of those beautifully changing leaves detach from the fingers of the tree branches. And the leaves. Green to red to orange to yellow to brown and never all at once! Drifting and swirling down from the heights of the tree tops, making you feel as though you are in a confetti storm. Leaves. Crunching, skittering, dancing across the pavements and being caught in mini-wind tunnels. The smell of the leaves. You find yourself walking to the outside and just breathing deep. Ahhh! These leaves, dropping and dancing downward draw us out of our dwellings with rakes in hand to play. Raking mounds and mounds of leaves to be danced upon and dived into (watch out for twigs, though!). But, please, no leaf blowers!! And then we notice them. We find little crimson ones. Long yellow and orange ones. And massive brown ones of oak and maple.
The air. The air smells sweeter. It's clearer because the humidity has left us (especially if you live near the ocean). It's cooler. At night, you gradually add a blanket as the temps begin to drop. You sleep better. I know I love waking up to a cold room, where your shoulders are cold but the rest of you is warm and cozy under a much loved quilt or comforter. You can smell the smoke from wood burning stoves and fireplaces. There's a little bit of frost on the tips of the blades of grass in the mornings, or on your car's windshield. You find yourself stuffing your gloves in your jacket pockets and checking on your stock of knit hats.
The wildlife. I love seeing huge flocks of black birds, grackle, cowbirds, and starlings descend upon the dogwood trees, burning bushes, and bittersweet vines to gobble up all of the bright berries they can find. I can hear the rustling near small leaf piles where birds are scratching with their feet, getting at the grubs, slugs, and worms that are nestling under them. Goldfinches always come to my perennial garden to feast upon the purple cone flower seeds that I've left for them. Squirrels and chipmunks are extremely focused and determined to collect as many nuts, seeds, and berries that they can find to store up for winter. We hear the honking of the geese as they, in perfect formation, begin their journey south.
Us. Our clothing (again, depending upon where you live) changes. We are wearing longer pants and long sleeved shirts. Sweat shirts. Pajamas. Flannel! Socks find their way back onto our feet, as do regular shoes. Most people (excepting my daughter-in-law) pack away the flip flops. We say so long to the summer salads. We begin to crave the mac 'n cheese, roast beef dinners, chilis, roasted turkeys, and ham dinners. We haul out the crock pots and begin baking the pies and cobblers. We swap the cold cereal for flavored oatmeal and french toast. Maple syrup on everything? Yes, please! And the pumpkin everything - you know who you are.
All of these pretty drastic changes. And we accept them. We have to. No choice. No alternative (except to move). I find it refreshing. As a matter of fact, I find it inspirational. If all of practically everything around me can change.....why can't I? Why can't I try something new? Why can't I speak up when I've been silent for, um, always? Why can't I be the person on the outside that I've known all along is living on the inside?
Why should I apologize for being myself? Why can't I say 'No'? I've outgrown the mold that others have encased me in. It's broken. I'm not broken. The perception of me is broken. Because it's changing. All of me. Those of you who know me, calm down, I'm not 'coming out' to anything (because I know that's what this kind of sounds like, but, no). I think I've just finally hit my stride.
I'm me. I love me. My husband loves me. My kids love me. My grandson adores me. I have finally accepted the confirmation of who I am in this world. Just as nature around me sheds and shakes and swirls and inspires, that's what I will embrace, also. I want to shed, shake, swirl, and inspire. I want to leave pretty patterns in the frost. I want my imprint to be colorful, cozy, and comforting. I want those who love me and care about me to look and me and smile, the way I smile at the birds, leaves, squirrels, and casserole dish full of mac 'n cheese.
And I hope that others will appreciate and be inspired, somehow, by
the glory of changes in themselves, if not clearly visible in the glorious nature around them.
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